# 55

 

 

Who Was Franz Ferdinand ?

Part 2.

 

 

 

Early the next morning, Ferdie and Willy gathered their equipment and departed for the pervasive forest to enjoy a day of hunting. Although the overcast sky threatened them with rain, the two middle-aged men trudged on along well-marked pathways. One group of  hunters ignored Franz Ferdinand’s frozen impenetrability. They were his rough, crude, eagle-eyed mountaineers that served him on all his hunting trips. Echoing throughout the woods, brass trumpets blared constantly in an attempt to frighten the prey and drive them out into the open.

At the least movement of an animal, small or large, Ferdie, even while chatting with 

his companion, fired his weapon without skipping a beat. If he killed an animal, great or  small, he left it to his gamekeeper to gather up. If the animal showed signs of life, the 

Gamekeeper administered the coup de grace.

Willie sought to distract Ferdie from his unorthodox way of hunting by broaching the  

subject of the Balkan problem.

“Now, dear cousin,” said Ferdie, “let me say at the outset, I am an advocate of  maintaining peace in the Balkans.”

The Kaiser sat down on a tree stump.
 

“The biggest problem is Servia,” said Ferdie. “Therefore, I would try to create a confederacy of all south Slav territory which would include Slovenia, Dalmatia, Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina. It would be a Croat-dominated Slav kingdom as a bulwark against those crazy Servians. This, of course, will outrage Servian nationalists who want   
‘One Servia’, a sort of Jugoslavia!”

 

Crack! Crack! Crack!

The loud shots from Ferdie’s rifle poured bullets at a streaking deer, its antlers

crashing against tree limbs.

The Kaiser used the interruption in their conversation to ask what plans the Heir Apparent had for strengthening the Austria-Hungary Dualism.

“First of all,” replied Ferdie, lowering his weapon, “I am becoming increasingly opposed to the way the two countries exist politically. I have already proposed universal suffrage in Hungary, but the Magyar’s fear it will undermine their domination of politics there. Their power must be controlled if we are to stifle the political rumblings that are   heard all over Hungary.”

 

Crack! Crack! Crack!

“As you know, Willie, I am trying to maintain an enormous and well-disciplined 

army. First off, I replaced the old doddering army commander in chief with Count Franz   Conrad von Hotzendorf. He has been of enormous assistance to me in reorganizing our troops. The Austrian-Hungarian armies are nearing the top of their form. Soon, we will   be able to deal with any enemy! In addition to an interest in military affairs, I have established a round table like the one you have in Berlin. It’s sort of a ministry of my   own. It has become very influential in Austrian politics.”
 

A blast from a hunter’s horn stopped the conversation.
 

“Willy,” shouted Ferdie, “See that roe deer? It’s yours! Get ‘im!”   

The Kaiser using his one sound arm calmly lifted his shotgun and fired a round at the animal just as it started behind a thick bush. There was no doubt that he made a
successful kill. The deer leaped several feet into the air; slammed back to the ground, its legs shaking violently.

 

 

“Damned fine shooting, old man!” cried Ferdie. “Yes sir! Damned fine shooting!”

A horse drawn cart drove up to the scene and stopped near the dead prey. Two men swiftly lifted the carcass and tossed it in among the other assortment of dead animals.

After several hours of tramping through the woods, the group reached a rough cabin nestled in a clearing.
The servants had set up tables outside. While they were preparing food for the hungry hunters, large pots, filled with hot water, were placed on nearby benches. Ferdie and Willy found soap bars to wash their hands and faces. No one stood on ceremony while deep in the clutches of Mother Nature!
A hot meal of hunter’s stew, black bread and butter, washed down with steins of beer,

created an atmosphere of Gemütlichkeit.

Ferdie’s hardy mountaineers broke out into bawdy songs. In deference to the Archduke’s strong religious beliefs, they ended each with Gott sei dank!

The beer loosened Ferdie tongue and he disclosed some mental disorders of Austrian
monarchs.

“Franz Joseph had one uncle who walked around his carriage and spoke to each horse, telling them how to behave during the drive. My mother’s family, the House of
Wittelsbach in Bavaria, was inclined toward cretinism and other forms of idiocy and lunacy.”

“Uncle Herman lived in a grand palace near Linz. It had indoor facilities for one’s ablutions and toilet. Instead, he had a large hole made in his bedroom wall that led to the
outdoors. When the urge arrived, he shit and urinated through the hole! The staff, of course, was on full time duty waiting for the event to occur. Visitors were cautioned not
to stroll too close to the palace wall!”

Willy roared with laughter.

“Don’t laugh, Willy,” cautioned Ferdie. “One of our relatives, in Hungary, rides a horse through the city…”

“Don’t tell me!” interrupted Willy. “He imitated Lady Godiva!”

“You got that right, cousin!”

 

“You’ve seen my uncle several times. Did you not find him a bit queer? I might add   he is on another planet. He dines at a table by himself, indulging in rapid, badly   masticated mouthfuls. His dinners are very frugal: a little broth, a small piece of broiled   beef with very few vegetables, often a flour-pudding, and two fingers of wine with much   mineral water!”

Ferdie waited until Willy released several belches.

 

“Gesundheit!” laughed Ferdie.

“Morning, noon and night, Uncle Josef attacks the mountainous mass of papers which

he loves to see replenished daily upon his writing table. He sits there some fifteen to   sixteen hours a day. He is obsessed with his work schedule. During times of real stress, he has the urge to be doing things. It is an urge that often rises to frenzy!”



 

Willy poured himself more beer. “It seems to me that his compulsiveness might be his way of releasing his personal anxieties.”

“Perhaps that is true, but I find it really twisted,” Ferdie sighed. “I will give him this: he has led our nation for half a century and, in spite of his multiple ups-and-downs, he
has stayed the course! I have concluded, however,” said Ferdie, “that the Emperor busies himself with details, even the most trivial, so as to avoid becoming involved in the
perplexities of vital state problems and getting no further. He often attacks some matter only to let it drop in a very short time. He does not possess that searching gaze which   clearly sees the great in the small and the whole and puts the knowledge gained to practical purpose!”

The Kaiser nodded his head several times and said, “I studied his Piedmont campaign when he and the idiot, Napoleon the Third, decided to take command of their troops in person! Neither of them had enough actual military experience to stuff a gnat’s ear. It was a disaster for both But, in spite of his many foreign relations disasters, I get quite ill   trying to imagine his personal tragedies!”

Ferdie’s face darkened. “I have the same feelings as you but I can’t find any reason to sympathize with him. I say that his sea of troubles is of his own making! He avoids   luxury. His bed is an iron cot of almost barrack room sternness. His one appetite, if one is to eliminate his occasional sexual orgies, is for cigars, usually of the variety known in   America as stogies.”

“Yes, I know,” said Willy. “Every Christmas, Dona and I send him several boxes, which he has written to us that, among all his gifts, are the ones that he really appreciates
the most.”

Ferdie tapped the top of the table. “His breakfast is one damned kipferl and a cup of tea.”

Putting his hand up as though protesting, Willy laughed, “I love those little crescent shaped rolls. I was told they are dear to the hearts of all Viennese!”



 

“Good for you!” growled Ferdie. “Have you ever watched him eat? His meals consist of extremely plain food, with very little of it. He gobbles his food as quickly as possible
so that he doesn’t have to smoke on an empty stomach!”

 

“He distrusts indoor plumbing and conducts his ablutions with the aid of pitchers and a wash stand. Two lackeys bring him a tin bathtub so that he could have his weekly bath.   He pounced upon his chamberlain; a man with twenty years service, because he disliked the way he did his hair.”

“On the parade ground, atop the back of his fine horse, he cuts, on the whole, a finer figure than many of the general around him.”

“Uncle Josef never appears in civilian clothes, not even for his sparse and frugal breakfast in the privacy of his own chambers with no one but his personal valet in attendance! He is attired in uniform from his habitual awakening at four-thirty in the morning until he goes to bed at night.”

As the men prepared to return to the Castle, Ferdie grabbed Willy’s hand. “I am worried that since he really despises me for marrying Sophie he might dream up some  scheme to get me out of the way. I approached the Emperor with the suggestion that I become co-regent with him. He blew his top!”



 

A moment passed with the two men staring into each other’s eyes.

Ferdie grasped Willy’s hand even tighter. “God almighty, I am afraid that the old fool

might be considering a Gotterdämmerung! I sincerely believe he is looking for the chance to go out in flames! When you visit with him, please see what you can find out.”

“I think you are overreacting,” said Willy, calmly. “However, I will do what I can to find out. I will tell you all that I learn. I promise.”

Willy asked, “What did you think of our cousin, Rudolph?”

 

Ferdie stared at his beer stein. “When I met Rudolf, the only son of Uncle Franzi and Aunt Elisabeth, the impression he made upon me was peculiar. He was undoubtedly a fine, well set-up figure. He resembled his mother Elizabeth. I did think that his drinking and carousing had a negative effect on his physique, He looked well in his smart general’s uniform, and he rode his thoroughbred with great skill. Overall, he looked to   me tired, bored and absent-minded. He struck me as a man already worn out. Yet, his striking intellectual gifts and unusual abilities were praised in all quarters.”

Although he knew the answer, Willy asked, “Did they do an autopsy?”

“Oh, yes. It occurred in secret of course. I had a conversation with the royal physician. The post-mortem on Rudolf revealed symptoms of advanced paralysis which could have
killed him in a year or so anyway. Had he not been on booze or drugs, I believe he would have made a great emperor. But now, the son-of-a-bitch left the job to me!”

“I wouldn’t worry too much, Ferdie,” said Willy. “If I can do it, I know that you can, too!”

“By the way,” Ferdie added, “I visited Heiligenkreuz cemetery where Mary Vetsera found her last resting place. On the base of the cross on the grave were the words from
the book of Job: ‘We grow up as a flower and are cut off.’ Today, no one mentions Rudolf or his tart!”

“Well, my friend” said Willy soberly, “in a hundred or so years, no one will mention you or I.”

The men began walking home. “When we get back to the castle” said Ferdie, “let’s go to my garden. I have some rare orchids that are in full bloom to show you!”

On arriving at Knopitsch palace, Wilhelm complained of a head cold. He begged Ferdinand to excuse him from the garden expedition. “I’ve seen your beautiful grounds
on several visits. But right now, I feel lousy. Why don’t you take Herbie with you? He will appreciate the opportunity. What do you think Herbie?”

“If His Highness will not be offended by the presence of a lowly German Captain, I will be delighted to see all your famed gardens.”

For the first time since the visitors arrived, a broad smile crossed Ferdie’s face. “By  Jove, let us do it!” he exclaimed. “Willy, by all means, take a rest and we will see you
later this evening.”


 

 

No. 54

 

Who was Franz Ferdinand?

 Part 1

 

 

The jolly group reached the entrance to Knopischt and saw stone replicas of local fauna lining the sidewalls.
Sophie and her children stood waiting for the visitors to approach.
Franz Ferdinand hugged his wife and kissed her passionately. He lifted each child in turn and kissed it on its cheeks.
The blond haired Dutchess wore a white silk gown that gave her shapely body a smooth look. Several rows of pearls hung from her neck. A large ring with an amethyst surrounded by small diamonds sparkled brightly as she moved her left hand.
Wilhelm joyfully kissed Sophie’s hand, saying how happy he was to return to a family that holds a special place in his heart.
She replied that since his last visit with Emperor Franz Joseph, there had been a hiatus in their lives.

 

“Well,” said her guest, “we will soon fill that gap with good camaraderie and love!”

“God bless you, Wilhelm.”

“Oh, on second thought,” joked the Kaiser, “I look forward to sampling your special fruit strudels!”

Duchess Sophie, with overt ardor, shamelessly kissed the Kaiser on his cheek.

Wilhelm laughed, “Do that one more time, my dear, and I will kidnap you and take you back to Berlin!”

Everyone, save Franz Ferdinand, laughed at the guest’s remark

The eldest child Princess Sophie, who resembled her mother, approached the famous man and curtsied before him.
She wore a fine white India Lawn dress with a pretty yoke.
It had three rows of fine embroidery insertions alternating with plaits. Ruffling stood out on her Eton vest.
On the top of her hair was a blue ribbon tied into a large bow.

 

Her brothers, Maxmilian and Ernst stood at her side. They were clad in identical sailor suits made of pink cotton chambray trimmed on a large collar and shield with white duck.
Each had a monogram in the center of the shield. They wore dark blue stockings and patent leather shoes.


While the Princess remained calm, her brothers nervously shuffled their shoes from one side to the other. A nudge from their sister soon stopped their activity.

 

Young Sophie held a sheet of a written paper. Without a word from her parents, she began to read a greeting, which she had written.

 

Her brothers proudly stood by as she spoke, for they helped her edit its composition.


 

Lieber Kaiser, der bis jetz gerest ist, um unsere family zu besuchen, grüssen wir Sie als Onkel und geliebte Person. Ihr Anwesenheit bildet unseren bescheiden aufenhaltsort einen schöneren und glücklicheren Platz. Bleiben Sie bitte mit uns für viele tage und lassen Sie uns in ihrem Edelmut sich aalen!

 

 

Sophie curtsied decorously.

Although Wilhelm noted that the greeting contained several grammatical errors, he silently forgave the child’s schoolgirl laxity.
He shook her hand and complimented her on such a thoughtful endeavor.

“Thank you, dear young lady. Of course, I will enjoy my stay at Knopischt Schloss. The scenery is exquisite and I will be sharing several days with people I have long loved!”

Franz Ferdinand patted his daughter on her head. Whereupon, the little girl looked lovingly into her father’s eyes that expressed undisguised appreciation.

Once inside the main part of the palace, the visitors noted the rich collection of art and artisan objects from the region’s earliest times that adorned every niche and corner of the rooms.
One room in particular held antiques that the Archduke gathered from Catholic churches far and wide.

As was expected, the walls held hunting trophies that proved the Archduke’s nearly maniacal interest in stalking prey.


 

Wilhelm, Eric and Herbie joined Franz Ferdinand and Sophie on the patio.

With everyone comfortably seated, Franz Ferdinand reached over to a nearby table and tinkled a glass bell.
Two servants immediately appeared, one carrying a silver tray on which stood several tall, silver capped beer steins. The other servant filled them with warm lager.

 

Sophie said, “It is so warm out here that I believe I want a cool drink.”

One servant turned to the door and snapped his fingers. A maid magically entered carrying a crystal glass of iced tea for her lady.

 

“Danke!”

Lifting his stein, Ferdie said, “This beer is made in a Prague brewery that was established in the sixteenth century. Drink up gentlemen. I believe you will enjoy it.”

Herbie gently sniffed the contents. He carefully agitated the ale to enjoy its bouquet.

Next, he sipped the liquid but resisted swallowing it immediately.
He let it wander around his entire palate. He allowed his taste buds to guide his judgment. He breathed out during
the process of tasting.


“Lieber Erzherzog,” he exclaimed, licking his lips. “It is
absolutely the best ale I ever tasted. As my sainted mother used to say, ‘If one cannot detect any sweetness, salty flavors, and bitterness in one’s ale, then one’s day has reached perfection!’”

Franz Ferdinand showed no emotion to Schornstein’s antics, but simply nodded his head as one inured to ass kissing.

 

Wilhelm sipped his ale quietly without comment. He lit a cigarette and blew a smoke ring but not in the direction of the Archduke. Instead, he aimed it at Schornstein who

 unconsciously had defamed München beer!


“When in Rome …” said Eric.

Herbie ignored his friend’s reprimands and asked Franz Ferdinand if he would explain how he came to purchase Knopischt?

“Oh, I did not purchase the property,” replied Ferdie, setting his stein down. “It was deeded to me twenty years ago by the Duke Ferdinand d’Estes because of his great love for my mother and father. Preceding today’s palace was a fourteenth century castle built by the lords of Beneschau. In the beginning of the seventeenth century, it exhibited a Late Gothic appearance. Next, it had a Late Renaissance look. Beginning with the eighteenth century, the fad was for Baroque architecture and so the place went to that style. Lo and behold, I decided to make a few subtle changes, one of which was cover the entire outside walls with brilliant white stucco. The palace really gleams in the sunlight!”

 

Herbie nodded in agreement. “I look forward to walking about these grounds. I especially wish to see your famous rose gardens!”

 

The Archduke twisted his lips suggesting that he couldn’t care less what Herbie thought.

 

After several moments of friendly chatting, Herbie boldly asked Franz Ferdinand if he would share his thoughts about his marriage to Duchess Sophie.


“Emperor Wilhelm has often told me about your love for your family and your hopes for success when you become Kaiser of Austria-Hungary!”


 

“Ow!” said Herbie as he felt Eric kick him on the shin.

Wilhelm straightened himself up as though he saw trouble staring him in the face!

The Archduke saw the concerned look on Wilhelm’s face. Then he reached across to his wife and patted her hand.
She nodded to him to let him know that it was all right to
discuss the matter.

“It is a story of love at first sight. It was at a ball given by the Statthalter, the representative of the Crown in Prague. Countess Sophie was the lady-in-waiting for the Archduchess of Pressburg.
We began seeing each other as often as possible and soon we

eventually expressed our feelings of love for each other. For me, it was the greatest event
of my life! My beloved Sophie has made me realize how much love we have for each other so that in everything we do it is as two peas in a pod! Isn’t that correct, my dear?”

Sophie nodded in agreement and folded her hands as though in prayer.

Ferdie sipped his beer and continued his discussion although with an expression of despair.


 

“Emperor Franz Josef was outraged that I wanted to marry a person of what he considered low peerage. Actually, the Countess was of the very ancient Bohemian family Chotkowa and Wogin. They were royalty when the Hapsburgs were living in dirt huts and bow hunting wild boar in the primeval forests!”


 

Wiping suds from his mouth, the Archduke struggled to gain control of his rising anger.


“The Emperor and I argued bitterly over the matter. We were both adamant. I would marry my dearest love. He would not hear of it. While we negotiated, poor Sophie

resided in a convent to await the final decision. From that day on, I have despised Franz Josef!”

Sophia reached over and laid her hand atop that of her husband. “No, no, dearest Ferdie! You do not hate your uncle. We all know that everything he does is for what he
considers ‘the good of Austria-Hungary’.”

“You are too kind, Sophie,” replied Ferdie. “You are indeed an angel!”

“Finally, the Emperor told me that I could enter a morganatic marriage without endangering my right to succession. However, Sophie and our unborn children were not Imperial family. I threatened to leave Vienna unless Sophie held high royal rank. She is now the Duchess of Hohenberg and may be called ‘her highness!’”


 

Silence pervaded the room as the Archduke stood up and kissed his wife’s cheek and patted her shoulder.


 

“Today, Sophie remains a beautiful intelligent and pious woman. We have three beautiful children. They remind me of the roses that grow in our gardens. Everyday, I thank the Lord for blessing me with such good fortune!”

The three guests stood up and bowed to the two lovers.

“May God bless your family,” exclaimed the Kaiser, “with good fortune for many more years.”


 

“Thank you, dear cousin,” said Ferdie, his face brightening for the first time since his guest had arrived.
Bending close to Sophie, he stammered, “As emperor. I will see to it that our situation changes for the betterment of our family!”

 

No. 53

The Kaiser's train arrives at the Knopischt station.

“Why the Magyars?” asked Herbie with feigned innocence.
 

Wilhelm rubbed his chin for a moment, glad for a chance to express his command of history. “The Magyars settled in Hungary around the seventh century. With Saint Stephen, who introduced Christianity, the history of Hungary began. Stephen was the first King of that country. A feudal society arose with the Magyars gaining great power. After the 1848 revolutions, Hungary became a constitutional kingdom in union with Austria. The Magyars remain ball-busters in the politics of the Dual Monarchy.”


Herbie hung his head down. “In preparation for our trip, I should have read something about the history of Austria-Hungary!”

“Not to worry, old fellow,” laughed Eric. “The finest social scientists can’t seem to make head or tail of that conundrum!”

Willy smiled and asked, “What’s the difference between a Magyar and a wurst?”

Falkenhayn took the bait. “I surely do not know and do not want to know. However, I am certain that my Liege will tell me!”

“The answer, my friend, is that the wurst tastes good, but the Magyar doesn’t!”
 

Herbie and Eric forced a giggle just to please the Kaiser.

"Please, Chief,” beseeched his A.D.C., “may we return to the subject of the

Archduke?”
 

“Yes, yes, of course,” said Wilhelm. “His bad temper frequently gets him into trouble, for he possesses a complete disregard for anyone’s rights when they infringe on his own whims. Hunting for Ferdie is his catharsis. He has a passion for slaughtering game and I’ve seen him gloating over the agonies of dying animals. He shoots everything in sight, male and female animals alike. He never gives any of his kills to the local people. He shoots and moves on. I have watched towns people sneak up after he has gone away and take the animals back to their homes.”

“On the other hand, Ferdie grew into a man with a strong and energetic personality. He is intelligent and very, very religious. By temperament, he is excitable. He is self-contained and has few intimate friends. I consider him a friend, but not for more than a few hours! Particularly after listening to him spout his Catholic beliefs.”

The special train slowed down as it approached the small station of Beneschau. Herbie peered out of his window. On a nearby hillside rose a three-storied, gleaming white Schloss, its huge double towers with its red conical roofs gave it a Grimm’s fairy tale appearance.

“Excuse me Chief, I just wondered if Rapunzel lives in one of those towers brushing her long golden hair!”

Eric stepped on Herbie’s foot.

Franz Ferdinand, accompanied by two colonels, waited at the train station. All three wore full dress uniforms. The archduke’s blue tunic and kepi, was simple in design. His medals were limited to a Saint Steven’s cross and a colored bar of awards. An honor guard of a dozen dragoons stood at rigid attention. Each man’s uniform consisted of light blue tunics, crimson riding pants, and highly polished black leather boots. Their gray helmets looked like overturned flowerpots.
As the Kaiser stepped from the train, the officers snapped to attention. They held their salute until returned by their guest. Medals and gold cord, down to the waist, clustered Wilhelm’s field-gray Dragoon uniform. With his left hand, he grasped a gold-handled sword. He sported a tan Pickelhaube topped with a golden Prussian spread eagle embossed with Mit Gott für König und Vaterland.

Schornstein gave the Archduke the once over and was impressed with the man's
strange appearance. First of all, his face did remind Herbie of a potato. His bushy eyebrows and high forehead emphasized his deep-set eyes. From behind dark shadows, bright blue eyes stared at the visitors. His full mustache remained stiff as he spoke suggesting that he did not move his upper lip. His articulation was so rapid that he went from one sentence to the next without a pause. Only an occasional cough interrupted his train of thought.

The fifty-year old Ferdinand kissed the fifty-four year old Wilhelm on both cheeks while shaking his hand vigorously. “Thank goodness you are here,” he whispered to his cousin. “Willy, you are about the only person of authority that I can trust and with whom I can get things off my mind. We will spend time tramping in the woods where there is much game to shoot. You and I will renew our friendship!” Then the Archduke grabbed his cousin tightly and kissed him several more times.
Wilhelm jokingly cautioned his greeter that if he held him any tighter, he might become the new Kaiser of Germany!
A red-faced host loosened his grip and laughed at his own excitability. After
introductions, a chauffer led the group to two limousines. The group settled in their automobiles, Ferdie and Willy in the lead car and the Aides brought up the rear. The entourage moved slowly from the one-room railway station down an elm tree-lined avenue. Cheering on-lookers lined the roadside. Most of them waved Austrian and German flags.

Francis Ferdinand paid little heed to the boisterous crowd. Instead, he pressed Wilhelm for information about his family. “What is Empress Dona up to and how are your sons and your daughter? Have they bred you any new grandchildren? What schools do they attend? How is everyone’s health?”

Wilhelm patted Ferdie’s hand. “Relax, old man, we will have plenty of time to talk about such matters in the comfort of your home!”

From the railway station, it was but a short distance to Knopischt Schloss.
At the palace gate, the automobile came to a halt. An elegantly uniformed military
band blared music quite unfamiliar to the visitors. When the band concluded its greeting, providentially a brief one, Franz Ferdinand told his chauffeur to continue on his way. Once inside the palace grounds, the scenery changed into a new world. Peacocks strutted around everywhere. Statues of Greek gods popped into vision every few yards. Diana, goddess of the hunt retained a central place near the palace. In several odd-shaped ponds,
ducks and geese flitted about quacking as though the Archduke’s entourage intruded upon their privacy. Several chained black bears lazed beneath trees in the nearby woods. Nurserymen attended flower gardens that were in full bloom. Horses lay in the sunlight, totally ignoring the noisy automobiles. Completing the scene were dozens of water fountains, their crystal murmurs reminding one of life that is calm and placid. Each fountain gave off different shaped outpourings. Some shot straight as an arrow into the air forming plumes at their highest point and then plummeting back to their basin. Others gracefully arched and flapped like the wings of a bird. Several sloped gently down and formed cascading water falls.

# 52

         Hapsburg Circle Part One

 

Although it was just eleven o’clock in the morning, the quartet of seemingly hungry

men were soon busy chomping away at smoked salmon, goose liver pate and oysters. Of

course, these delicacies required glasses of either Bordeaux or Burgundy.

Very little conversation occurred during the meal save for a compliment or two about

a certain taste or aroma.

At the conclusion of the meal and after a few burps and loosening of belts, Willy

asked Eric what he thought of his repast.

“Well, Sir, it reminded me of the baker, who while kneading bread dough, discovered

a maggot in it. He anxiously asked the critter, ‘Have you lived here long?’ ‘No,’ it

replied. ‘I am a nomad!’”

 

“Gott im Himmel!” cried Willy. “Did you find something in the pate?”

“Don’t worry, Willy. I ate it!”

His Majesty nearly choked as he laughed convulsively.
 

Herbie asked Wilhelm to share his thoughts of heir apparent Franz Ferdinand. “I’ve

never seen the man except in newspaper photographs.”
 

Eric Falkenhayn laughed.
 

“What’s so funny?” asked a perplexed Herbie.
 

“Well, as you know,” explained Wilhelm, “we will visit the Archduke and his wife

Sophia for a few days. The first thing you will notice about Ferdie is that he lacks a sense

of humor. He has a face that matches his dour personality. You will certainly notice his

consumptive face. It looks like a potato, is that not true Martin?”
 

The Kaiser’s servant nodded disinterestedly.
 

“Even more, he has deep set eyes that seem to peer out of a dark grotto!”

Again, Eric giggled.
 

'Stop that!” complained Wilhelm. “You sound like a stuck pig!”

“Ja wohl Your Majesty” said the General muffling a snicker.

 

“You must understand, Herbie,” continued the Kaiser, “that Franz Ferdinand’s health

is very delicate because of his tuberculosis. He spent several months in Egypt recovering

from its ill effects. Although it seemed his health had improved, his doctors told me that

tuberculosis seldom disappears completely. He has a constant dry cough and his

breathing is raspy. When he and I went hunting last year, Ferdie had the occasional shits

and carried a role of toilet paper with him at all times. I also learned that he takes both

opium and quinine probably to relieve his aches and pains. The loutish churl developed

into quite a person, still insufferably arrogant, cruel and headstrong, but generally a

straightforward, outspoken man. Frankly, I like him. He says exactly what he thinks,

which includes expressing his contempt for his Uncle Franz Josef’s dastardliness during

his sixty-year reign. He makes no secret of his complete dislike for the Hungarian

Magyars. He blames them for the rather minor position Austria-Hungary possesses in

Europe.”
 

“Why the Magyars?” asked Herbie with feigned innocence.

Wilhelm rubbed his chin for a moment, glad for a chance to express his command of

history. “The Magyars settled in Hungary around the seventh century. With Saint

Stephen, who introduced Christianity, the history of Hungary began. Stephen was the

first King of that country. A feudal society arose with the Magyars gaining great power.

After the 1848 revolutions, Hungary became a constitutional kingdom in union with

Austria. The Magyars remain ball-busters in the politics of the Dual Monarchy.”
 

Herbie hung his head down. “In preparation for our trip, I should have read something

about the history of Austria-Hungary!”
 

“Not to worry, old fellow,” laughed Eric. “The finest social scientists can’t seem to

make head or tail of that conundrum!”
 

Willy smiled and asked, “What’s the difference between a Magyar and a wurst?”
 

Falkenhayn took the bait. “I surely do not know and do not want to know. However, I

am certain that my Liege will tell me!”
 

“The answer, my friend, is that the wurst tastes good, but the Magyar doesn’t!”
 

Herbie and Eric forced a giggle just to please the Kaiser.
 

“Please, Chief,” beseeched his A.D.C., “may we return to the subject of the

Archduke?”

“Yes, yes, of course,” said Wilhelm. “His bad temper frequently gets him into trouble,

for he possesses a complete disregard for anyone’s rights when they infringe on his own

whims. Hunting for Ferdie is his catharsis. He has a passion for slaughtering game and

I’ve seen him gloating over the agonies of dying animals. He shoots everything in sight,

male and female animals alike. He never gives any of his kills to the local people. He

shoots and moves on. I have watched towns people sneak up after he has gone away and

take the animals back to their homes.”
 

“On the other hand, Ferdie grew into a man with a strong and energetic personality.

He is intelligent and very, very religious. By temperament, he is excitable. He is selfcontained

and has few intimate friends. I consider him a friend, but not for more than a

few hours! Particularly after listening to him spout his Catholic beliefs.”
 

The special train slowed down as it approached the small station of Beneschau. Herbie

peered out of his window. On a nearby hillside rose a three-storied, gleaming white

Schloss, its huge double towers with its red conical roofs gave it a Grimm’s fairy tale

appearance.

“Excuse me Chief, I just wondered if Rapunzel lives in one of those towers brushing

her long golden hair!”
 

Eric stepped on Herbie’s foot.
 

Franz Ferdinand, accompanied by two colonels, waited at the train station. All three

wore full dress uniforms. The archduke’s blue tunic and kepi, was simple in design. His

medals were limited to a Saint Steven’s cross and a colored bar of awards. An honor

guard of a dozen dragoons stood at rigid attention. Each man’s uniform consisted of light

blue tunics, crimson riding pants, and highly polished black leather boots. Their gray

helmets looked like overturned flowerpots.
 

As the Kaiser stepped from the train, the officers snapped to attention. They held their

salute until returned by their guest. Medals and gold cord, down to the waist, clustered

Wilhelm’s field-gray Dragoon uniform. With his left hand, he grasped a gold-handled

sword. He sported a tan Pickelhaube topped with a golden Prussian spread eagle

embossed with Mit Gott für König und Vaterland.
 

Schornstein gave the Archduke the once over and was impressed with the man’s

strange appearance. First of all, his face did remind Herbie of a potato. His bushy

eyebrows and high forehead emphasized his deep-set eyes. From behind dark shadows,

bright blue eyes stared at the visitors. His full mustache remained stiff as he spoke

suggesting that he did not move his upper lip. His articulation was so rapid that he went

from one sentence to the next without a pause. Only an occasional cough interrupted his

train of thought.
 

The fifty-year old Ferdinand kissed the fifty-four year old Wilhelm on both cheeks

while shaking his hand vigorously. “Thank goodness you are here,” he whispered to his

cousin. “Willy, you are about the only person of authority that I can trust and with whom

I can get things off my mind. We will spend time tramping in the woods where there is

much game to shoot. You and I will renew our friendship!” Then the Archduke grabbed

his cousin tightly and kissed him several more times.
 

Wilhelm jokingly cautioned his greeter that if he held him any tighter, he might

become the new Kaiser of Germany!
 

A red-faced host loosened his grip and laughed at his own excitability. After

introductions, a chauffer led the group to two limousines.
 

The group settled in their automobiles, Ferdie and Willy in the lead car and the Aides

brought up the rear. The entourage moved slowly from the one-room railway station

down an elm tree-lined avenue. Cheering on-lookers lined the roadside. Most of them

waved Austrian and German flags.

Francis Ferdinand paid little heed to the boisterous crowd. Instead, he pressed

Wilhelm for information about his family. “What is Empress Dona up to and how are

your sons and your daughter? Have they bred you any new grandchildren? What schools

do they attend? How is everyone’s health?”
 

Wilhelm patted Ferdie’s hand. “Relax, old man, we will have plenty of time to talk

about such matters in the comfort of your home!”
 

From the railway station, it was but a short distance to Knopischt Schloss.

At the palace gate, the automobile came to a halt. An elegantly uniformed military

band blared music quite unfamiliar to the visitors. When the band concluded its greeting,

providentially a brief one, Franz Ferdinand told his chauffeur to continue on his way.

Once inside the palace grounds, the scenery changed into a new world. Peacocks strutted

around everywhere. Statues of Greek gods popped into vision every few yards. Diana,

goddess of the hunt retained a central place near the palace. In several odd-shaped ponds,

ducks and geese flitted about quacking as though the Archduke’s entourage intruded

upon their privacy. Several chained black bears lazed beneath trees in the nearby woods.

Nurserymen attended flower gardens that were in full bloom. Horses lay in the sunlight,

totally ignoring the noisy automobiles. Completing the scene were dozens of water

fountains, their crystal murmurs reminding one of life that is calm and placid. Each

fountain gave off different shaped outpourings. Some shot straight as an arrow into the

air forming plumes at their highest point and then plummeting back to their basin. Others

gracefully arched and flapped like the wings of a bird. Several sloped gently down and

formed cascading water falls.


 

#51

The German strategy is finalized.

The Germans took their leave to freshen up before the conference resumed. Alfred

Tirpitz asked Chancellor Bethmann if he thought that the Kaiser was well enough to

continue with the meeting.
 

“The reason I ask you this, is that my remarks about the German navy and its ability to

involve itself with the British navy might upset His Majesty and cause him permanent

mental damage. After all, if we go to war, Germany needs Wilhelm as a strong,

unflagging and unfailing leader. In my mind, there is no one currently available to replace

him.”

Theobald looked about himself and seeing no one else nearby, whispered in Alfred’s

ear, “Willy is a lot stronger than you give him credit for. Yes, he goes off the deep end on

occasion, but I find that for him, it is sort of a psychological catharsis. What sets him off

is when he meets people in the know and who do not level with him about important

issues. As long as the General Staff keeps him fully abreast of military activities for good

or ill, he will maintain a sane behavior and keep the ship on an even keel.”

From out in the hallway, they heard the Kaiser jovially shouting, “Gentlemen, what

say you that we get our asses to the table and finish this business before the second

coming of Christ!”
 

Without waiting for an introduction, Albert Tirpitz took the floor and remained

standing throughout the meeting. “When I was asked for a sea war plan, I had first to ask

myself three questions. What is the political object of the war? What are the political

conditions, and how much does the question at issue mean respectively to us and to our

adversary? These conditions determine the nature of a sea war. Thus, my staff and I have

carefully designed such a plan."
 

“The political objective of the proposed war will be to defend our territory from

enemy incursions and invasion. However, this does not mean that our navy plays a purely

defensive role. On the contrary, it is axiomatic that counter-attack is the soul of defense.

An admiral, who sees positive results ahead, must employ offensive action."
 

“At this time, the German navy has inferior strength compared to that of the British

navy. Add the Royal Navy to that of France, we find ourselves at a major disadvantage.

“We plan to follow a strategy of a judicious defensive attitude, until, at a propitious

moment, a successful counterattack will be made and an offensive movement begun. We

do not want to experience the same fate as the Spanish Armada!"
 

Willy looked from side to side. “What about morale? Is the navy willing to sit in port

while a war goes on?”

“Morale,” replied Albert, stroking his long, forked beard, “will be kept up by an alert

readiness to fight, and by frequent minor incursions which will result in clashes with an

unsuspecting enemy. Of course, many of our craft will be on active duty and as they

succeed in their hit-and-run tactics in the seven seas, the pride of the Navy will increase.”

“Hit and run tactics?” said Wilhelm. “We Germans never run!”
 

“Thank you, Sire,” laughed the Admiral. “I think I’ll use that for my naval motto! In

the Mediterranean Sea, we are prepared to work closely with Austria and Italy to rid the

Adriatic Sea of enemy shipping. I have ordered the cruisers Goeben and Breslau to the

Adriatic. On short notice, they will move toward the Strait of Gibraltar and ready to dash

about the Mediterranean. Happily, the Austrian navy has agreed to cooperate with us.

Now we are awaiting a response from the Italians.”
 

“At the outset of a conflict, we have developed important plans for a number of sea

raids that will harass shipping lanes in both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans. For example,

the light cruiser Emden is a unit of our German China squadron based at Tsingtao under

Admiral Maximilian von Spee. The Emden goes to the Indian Ocean to cruise at will and

destroy as much Allied shipping as possible. Along the coast of India, we will place

several cruisers, the newly finished Wolf being one of them.”
 

“In German East Africa, the Konigsberg stationed at Dar-es-Salaam, will proceed to

cover the western Indian Ocean and the east coast of Africa and do as much mischief as

possible."
 

“In the Atlantic, we have the Karlsruhe, a modern fast cruiser, available for raiding.

Currently she is “innocently” visiting American east coast ports.”

“In the south Atlantic, the Seeadler, under the command of Count Felix von Luckner,

will sink enemy shipping seeking the safety of South American harbors. He has orders to

pass around Cape Horn and attack shipping in the Pacific if good conditions prevail.”

“Strategically placed colliers, hidden from enemy eyes, will supply our cruisers with

coal and supplies. If worse comes to worse, the colliers carry owner’s papers from

Argentina and Uruguay. If stopped by a British ship, our captains will quickly raise a flag

of one of those nations. Who is to know the difference? Verdad amigos?"

 

“I have already alerted the Kaiser at our annual armed forces review that it was

admitted in naval matters, Germany was not even close to the British sea power. We

admirals all agree that Britain can only be defeated by a power that seizes permanent

command of the seas. It has to be with a fleet the same size as the Royal Navy plus

superior in big battleships."
 

“Now, gentlemen, it is obviously beyond the capacity of the current German economy

to support both a great army and a huge naval fleet that would outgrow the British.

Therefore, it seems to us that the only thing we can do is to bluff Triple Entente into

believing that we might catch up to them.” Tirpitz pointed to a large wall map. “There

have been conversations between British and French naval and army experts for the past

two years. They have spent a lot of time producing plans of naval and military operations

that France and Britain are to take jointly. The French navy is to be concentrated in the

Mediterranean and the British fleet is to cover the French northern coast.”

 

“So, Albert,” asked Wilhelm, “what is our navy up against in case of war?”

 

The admiral pulled a small notebook from his vest pocket from which he proceeded to

read the data listed therein.
 

“Currently, the British have twenty dreadnoughts with five more in the process of

construction. France has seven dreadnoughts. Add to these a total of seventy older

battleships and thirty battle cruisers in both nations. We know that the French and British

are pushing hard to increase their submarine fleet."
 

“Our Triple Alliance has a fair sized navy. Germany has sixteen dreadnoughts. Italy

and Austria can supply eight dreadnoughts. The three powers have a total of fifty-five

battleships and fifty battle cruisers. Currently, our submarine fleet is small with twenty

ships. Our ship builders are working three shifts a day building the undersea crafts.”

Wilhelm seemed to look more relaxed at the naval comparisons."
 

“Let me say at first,” continued Tirpitz, “that our Navy is not an end in itself, but

always functions in the interests of our maritime fleet. Remember, gentlemen, the flag

has to follow trade. When our victorious war is over, we will see an increase in the

import-export economy as never before.”
 

The Kaiser sat up and raised an empty glass. “Our fleet of passenger ships will

become the finest in the world! So far our steamers hold most of the world speed

records!” Then, he added jovially, “We will continue along that path, unless one of ours

hits an iceberg or two!”
 

“Don’t even suggest it!” shouted Theobald.
 

Tirpitz ignored the interruption. He folded his arms and continued in his serious

mode. “I have developed a risk theory whereby if our navy became strong enough, the

British will try to avoid a conflict with our fleet. If the two navies fight, the German navy

will lose. However, since Britain relies on her navy to maintain control over the British

Empire, I believe that they would rather keep control of their Empire, and let Germany

become a world power, than lose the empire as the cost of keeping Germany weak.

Today, Great Britain can easily deny us entrance to the North Sea and the English

Channel. If they succeed in that, Germany is in trouble!”
 

“It has been suggested that our navy might have to rely on two things: mining and

submarines. We can lay thousands of explosive mines but they are not always effective.

Submarines are new to us and I had strong reservations about their use in wartime. My

staff has been busy giving the new undersea boats stringent tests. The results exceeded

my wildest hopes. We may have a solution to meeting the threat of the smug-thinking

British. I can foresee a situation whereby German undersea boats sail to every corner of

the earth ready to sink enemy ships. If so, we might be able to starve the English in just a

few months. Now, I see submarines as our ace-in-the-hole!”
 

“Wunderbar!” shouted Wilhelm.
 

“My admirals suggest that if a major naval battle occurs, we should entice the British

toward the Skagerrak off the Danish Jutland Peninsula. In case of an emergency, it is

close to our German ports to which we can rapidly flee to safety.”
 

Moltke spoke up. “Yes, Alfred, but I expect to defeat the British army in about a

fortnight. So, if we beat the British army, why chance a sea battle? The war will be over.”

“I am glad that you are so confident, General Moltke, my old pal, but the English

army will simply slip across the Channel to the safety of their Isles. If Napoleon couldn’t

invade them, I doubt if Germany will be able to do so, either!”
 

The Kaiser looked up and announced that it was time to consider another matter. “We

have to insure that Austria-Hungary is with us one-hundred percent. Therefore, I suggest

that I visit Emperor Franz Josef and, so to speak, test the waters in Vienna. What do you

men think about that?”
 

Moltke leaned forward, his hands grasping the table’s edge. “That’s a damn fine idea,

Willy. I also believe that you should visit Archduke Francis Ferdinand, the heir

apparent.”
 

“Do you think that it is necessary to do that?” asked Wilhelm.

“Yes, indeed,” replied Helmuth. “Remember that the Emperor is a doddering eighty-four

or more years old! Christ, he could fall over dead at any moment! So, let’s get him to

agree with our strategy and very soon, richtig?”

During the late evening, when the conference was over, Wilhelm and Herbie walked

barefooted along the beach. The sand was cool to the soles. The topic of great German

generals arose. Although it was after nine o’clock at night, the sun was low on the

horizon and gave a golden hue to the nearby Hohenzollern. They could see crew

members busy with their chores.

Schornstein, unaffectedly, asked the Kaiser who was his favorite German general.

The Kaiser puffed on his meerschaum pipe a few times. “Let me think about that

Herbie.” He then tapped his pipe on a clamshell and the ashes disappeared in the brisk

sea wind.

 

 

“Of course,” he began, while pointing his pipe stem skyward, “our beloved Count

Helmuth von Moltke naturally takes first place. After all, his great military skill and

judgment gave us victory in three major wars in a half-dozen years. Under his guidance,

we defeated Denmark in 1864, Austria-Hungary in 1866, and France in 1871. In my

judgment, he equaled or surpassed Napoleon Bonaparte. Without von Moltke, Germany

would not exist today. Like George Washington, he united his country. Fortunately, for

us monarchs, he had no interest in becoming king. He has honored me on many occasions

by discussing his war stories and his theories of strategy and tactics. At his death, I was

inconsolable for days.”
 

Herbie sighed and said that he wished that he had known the Count.
 

Willy nodded his agreement. “You would have met a shy, retiring man who looked

more like a bürgermeister than a field marshal.”

 

“Of course, I place General Karl von Clausewitz near the top of my list. Before he

died in 1831, he wrote a three-volume masterpiece on the science of war. His books are

my bible. Any commanding officer who has not read this genius will most likely face an

early death or retirement. Have you read his work, Herbie?”

“Well Chief, I’ve planned to do so for sometime now. However, a certain monarch

keeps me so busy that I cannot find time to read more than the Berlin newspapers.”

The Kaiser chuckled so loudly that a passerby stared at him."
 

“I’ll be honest with you Herbie, if you won’t tell anyone, that there is a lot that von

Clausewitz writes that I have difficulty in comprehending. Verstehst du?”
 

“Yes, Sire,” snickered Herbie. “I understand.”

The Kaiser stopped and stared out across the softly rolling surf. “I will add a third

general, little known nowadays and that is Gebhard von Blucher.”
 

“Is he the one whose name you christened your latest heavy cruiser with?”
 

Willy nodded. “Yes, He is the very one.”

“At any rate, his timely army maneuver in 1815 caught Napoleon by surprise. But for

Blucher, Bonaparte would have avoided defeat at Waterloo. He might even have whipped

Wellington.”
 

The two men continued their walk in silence.
 

“Chief, what are your thoughts about our younger Helmuth von Moltke? I know, of

course, that he was your personal selection to lead the General Staff.”
 

“Moltke was highly recommended to me for Chief of the General Staff by many

general officers even before our great General Heinrich von Schlieffen retired from the

post.”
 

“Moltke told me that he basically supported the old general’s “swinging door” plan for

a war against France by which the German seven armies are to swing around a central

“hinge” and crush French resistance. In a way, the younger Moltke could become

Germany’s main warrior, as his uncle before him. I saw a certain anxiety in his face as he

stood before me when I announced his promotion. He knew that I had decided to retire

von Schlieffen, who was seventy-three years of age. It is a post that demands not only

great industry, but also undiminished physical energy. A younger man was needed to face

the dangers in modern Europe.”
 

The two men had reached the pathway that led to the mansion.
 

“By the way Herbie, sweetheart, we leave for Vienna in three days. Are you ready to

pack and go with me?”
 

“Chief, I never unpack. With you running around like a rooster with his head cut off, I

keep my luggage locked and ready!”
 

Willy kissed Herbie several times. “I don’t know what I would do without you, young

fellow!”
 

The next morning, the group prepared to leave the estate. Johann and Johanna looked

as though they would genuinely miss the rascally group of men. After handshakes and

kisses all around, the entourage walked down the pathway leading to the pier. Within a

few moments, the Hohenzollern gave a blast of its horn and sailed for home.

In  Baron Dichtener's library great hearth, the last of the wood embers gave a final burst of

light and then all was dark.